Thursday, August 19, 2010

English 101 Classification & Division-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be

classified and/or divided into groups?

I thought the introductory paragraph was very interesting and made me want to keep reading.


2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for

the classification and/or division? Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement.

If the thesis is implied, state it in your own words below.

The thesis statement has to deal with types of teachers.


3. Is the writer’s basis of classification clear (see “Notes on Classification and Division” posted August 12th)? Why

or why not? By what means is the writer grouping his or her subject matter?


I think the writers basis of classification is very good and insightful.

4. Are the groups or categories clearly defined and uniquely named? Do any seem to overlap or appear

oversimplified or based on stereotypes? Explain.

The groups were clearly categorizes like we were suppose to and no overlap or any of that.


5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions

between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.

I really do not think in this type of essay they order really matter it all was done very good.

6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting

specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s classification and/or division?


Each individual paragraph is very well written, not much more I could add.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

Each paragraph was very understandable very well written paper.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I thought the writer did a good job fulfilling obligations for first and last paragraph standards.


9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)


Again I thought this was well written story and each sentence looked well written, striking images and details were great.


10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I really like how right on the writer was about different types of teachers. I think the writer could go through and make a few minor detailed changes of teacher characteristics other than that I thought it was great paper.

Brandi M/cause and effect.. reviewed.by michael dupre

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be

analyzed? Can you tell if causes (a number of television programs or characters), effects (positive influences or

benefits), or both will be emphasized?

The introductory paragraph really is not that interesting, it does not have much to it. They first paragraph does not explain much at all.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for

the analysis? Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is

implied, state it in your own words below.

I can not find a clear thesis statement. I would have to say while i was growing up there wasn't one show in particular that had a major efffect on me.


3. Does the writer include a sufficient number of programs or characters (cause) and positive results (effect)? Why

or why not? What other causes or effects should the writer consider?

The writer does use a few programs and characters. I think there could be more.

4. Are the causes/effects reasonable or believable and not too far fetched? Does the author make any creative

connections or offer anything that surprises you—or does the analysis seem obvious? Explain.

The author really never clearly states causes and effects, therefor no connections were made.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions

between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.


I really don't think rearranging these paragraphs would help the story much.

6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting

specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s cause and/or effect analysis?

I really don't feel that that the paragraphs were very well detailed. I think there could be a lot more detail added.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

I think each paragraph does go along the right lines of the story.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

The first and and last paragraph are actually pretty off. First paragraph is very short and last is very long needs more balance.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)

I think each sentence is structured very good. I don see any repeats or other mess ups.


10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I like some of the lessons the writer learned from tv. I think the paragraphs could mesh a little better and could have more detail.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

English 101 Illustration-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

I like the introductory paragraph I think it is very insightful. The writer states some things that definitely make me wanna continue reading it.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

I don't feel as the thesis statement is exactly clear but I do see were they are going.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

I think the the writer thesis statement is the last one that states relationships should be a give take, were both persons are contributing, and not just one person doing all the giving.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Point out any paragraph(s) that you have

difficulty relating to the thesis statement or illustration.

For the most part all paragraphs do go along with the thesis. Some parts kind of stray off but not to bad.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions

between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.

I thought the essays paragraphs were arranged just fine. They all were very smooth for the most part.


6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting

specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s point or concept?

Individual paragraphs were okay they could be more detailed, some parts just did not seem right.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

The writer's paragraphs were all unified and very coherent.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I think the first and last paragraph actually could be a little better they were not to far off but could end or even start differently.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)

All the sentences are very well written and complete. The writer defiantly has a good english background. I could fine no errors or repeats.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I think the best thing about this paper is that it explains a very good life lesson us young kids need to understand. It was very good paper. I do think the introductory could have been a lot better. I also thought the same about the conclusion they just did not mesh well to me.

Jesse G/process-Reviewed by Michael DuPre

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

I do not feel that the introductory paragraph was anything special but it was good. The writer does keep my attention in the last sentence by stating she is going to teach me how to con an instructor.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

The thesis statement is a very clear one in this essay. The writer is clearly explaining how to con an instructor.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

The sentence is the last sentence in the first paragraph and it states " It is, instead, how to con an instructor."

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Is it clear to you how each of the

paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining? Are any of the required steps or stages left out? Point out

any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

I think this was a very well written essay and each paragraph relates to the thesis and in a good process order.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order.

I really don't think I could find a way to improve the way the paragraphs are arranged, I think they all flow very good.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs

that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?

What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

The paragraphs for this essay are connected to one another very smoothly and very logically it is again a very well written essay. I don't think I could find much more to add.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

The writers pargraphs are very unified and easily coherent. The writer is very correct with what they are saying.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I personally love the way the last paragraph is worded it is a very good conclusion and it definitely fulfill all obligations.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

I think this writer uses a lot of details and imaging in there sentences. Each sentence seems to be very well written.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I thought this was a very good paper and it entailed a lot of insight. I really loved the conclusion, to me those are usually very hard to do and this person executed it very well. I can only really see one thing that could actually be improved on in this paper and that is maybe the introductory paragraph you could add a little more to make me want to keep reading, because once I read it all I was happy I kept going it was very well written after that.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Kelly K/definition review by Michael DuPre

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

The introduction paragraph in nothing to special it just states her past and her present situations. The first paragraph really doesn't have a lot to it to make me want to continue.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

The thesis statement is definitely clear it is how she wants a younger sister.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

The thesis is implied and it is pretty simple she is going to explain the perfect little sister.


4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Is it clear to you how each of the

paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining? Are any of the required steps or stages left out? Point out

any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

All the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis and each paragraph is very clear.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order.

I really don't think any paragraph could be arranged differently it is definitely well written.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs

that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?

What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

The whole essay flows very smoothly and transitions are very well done and very detailed.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

This is a very well written essay each paragraph seems fine. It is very smooth and unified.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I really enjoyed the writers conclusion it was very clever and clear.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

I don't think the sentences were very strong in any sense it was all just well written.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I really enjoyed the conclusion, I thought it was a great ending. I think the paper could use a little more detail and also a little more insight.

amy H compare and contrast..review by michael DuPre

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

The introductory paragraph was very interesting, it takes a lot of nerve to do what she did. She is talking about going on a blind date which is very interesting, because I wanna see how it goes.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

I dont feel like there is a clear cut thesis statement, but i can find senteces that reveals the writer's purpose.


3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

I am going to write about the two my dates I have had.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Is it clear to you how each of the

paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining? Are any of the required steps or stages left out? Point out

any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

I think for the most part all paragraphs contribute well and keep the essay really flowing. When I say flowing I obviously agree that it is very clear.I really did not have a problem relating the thesis statement process I thought it was a well written paper.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order.

I really don't think the paragraphs could have been arranged and better but it would have been nice to know were a new paragraph began. I could tell but if spacing was used it would help a lot more.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs

that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?

What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

Like I said earlier i think the paragraphs move very smoothly and logically. I think transitions were very good and it was a very entertaining story.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

I thought this was a very well written paper but again spaces would have helped.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I think this was a very well written essay and the first and last paragraph fulfilled all obligations. I don't think they ever went off track or anything.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

This essay was a very entertaining one and i thought there were a good amount of details such as losing wallet and her paying and driving off without paying for gas.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?


I like this paper mainly because it kept me on my toes. It was very funny and well written at the same time.One main feature to approve on would be the paragraph spacing and the other feature would have to be maybe a little more detail. I think the best suggestion would to be go over and over the essay.

Friday, August 13, 2010

"Mother Tongue" Blog

Nowadays we have slang for just about everything in the United States of America. That is probably why English is one of the hardier languages to learn. We are just lazy and we shorten a lot of things and maybe its not just lazy maybe it is we just try to find the shortest and quickest ways to get our point across. I feel like either way that is a big reason English is hard to learn.

Even though English is one of the hardiest languages to learn I feel like more people try to learn it more so then us Americans try to learn other cultures languages. I think most Americans think that everyone should just speak our language and that is not right. One thing that I noticed we use a lot of slang in is our sports we shorten everything in our sports. Just look for example at every professional sport can be described in just three letters and most people know exactly what sport your talking about. I am not sure if this is clever or just lazy of us.

Take basketball for example, so much slang is used during basketball it is not funny. It is not even the basics of basketball that use slang it is more the mouthing the players use. Such as when you go up for a lay up and get blocked some people like to say not in my house and I feel like if this was someone not familiar with our slang they would be severely confused. They would probably just stop stare at you and be offended. What not in my house no I am not in your house we are at the gym, I feel like that is what would be running in there head in fact I know that what they would be thinking I have seen the looks on foreigners faces when that situation has happened. Some other slang we use in basketball include such sayings as “you cant guard me get off me” and there are tons of others and I just feel like all these comments would greatly confuse someone who is not from the united states.

Football is another sport that uses a lot of slang and jargon in the sport. Not many other countries even have football, so these is something very hard for foreigners to understand just simple cause there not familiar with it and then we as our slang and it just makes it near impossible for people who are not from the united states to understand. One big thing that I would see very confusing for outsiders would be the quarterback and his cadence. I feel like they would just be shocked and maybe offended when hearing him shout of his reads and checks. Just a simple hut hut hike might even confuse them. If the could even make out what he says they would be like what a hut were? I am not sure about the assumptions but I just feel like they would definitely need a guide to understand what was going on. I would definitely not let a colts game be the one to teach them about Peyton Manning has so many audibles they would not know what to think. On a side not the man is a genius he says the most random stuff that Americans don’t even understand the only people who know what the man is saying is his own team, which works out perfectly for him. That of course is just a side note, now back to topic. They also would be very confused by the mouthing if they actually attempted to play a real game of football. When somebody puts a get hit on somebody they simple stand over him and tell him to stay down. I feel like if this happened to a outsider they would probably look and the ref and be confused and wonder if they were actually suppose to stay laying there. It all is just very confusing. You sometimes here a lot of the receivers and defensive backs doing a lot of the mouthing. They say certain things like “all day baby all day” meaning what ever they did that was good is going to go on throughout the game not literally all day.

That is just a brief description of my hobbies and there jargon. They definitely have a lot more to them then that and someone who has not grown up around the stuff would definitely need a good guide to figure it out and it would be even better if they could find someone who would personally help them. This all is why it is very hard to understand and be fluent in the English language.