amy H compare and contrast..review by michael DuPre

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

The introductory paragraph was very interesting, it takes a lot of nerve to do what she did. She is talking about going on a blind date which is very interesting, because I wanna see how it goes.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

I dont feel like there is a clear cut thesis statement, but i can find senteces that reveals the writer's purpose.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

I am going to write about the two my dates I have had.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Is it clear to you how each of the

paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining? Are any of the required steps or stages left out? Point out

any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

I think for the most part all paragraphs contribute well and keep the essay really flowing. When I say flowing I obviously agree that it is very clear.I really did not have a problem relating the thesis statement process I thought it was a well written paper.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order.

I really don't think the paragraphs could have been arranged and better but it would have been nice to know were a new paragraph began. I could tell but if spacing was used it would help a lot more.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs

that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?

What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

Like I said earlier i think the paragraphs move very smoothly and logically. I think transitions were very good and it was a very entertaining story.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

I thought this was a very well written paper but again spaces would have helped.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I think this was a very well written essay and the first and last paragraph fulfilled all obligations. I don't think they ever went off track or anything.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

This essay was a very entertaining one and i thought there were a good amount of details such as losing wallet and her paying and driving off without paying for gas.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

I like this paper mainly because it kept me on my toes. It was very funny and well written at the same time.One main feature to approve on would be the paragraph spacing and the other feature would have to be maybe a little more detail. I think the best suggestion would to be go over and over the essay.