Brandi M/cause and effect.. reviewed.by michael dupre

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? Does the introduction specify clearly what is to be

analyzed? Can you tell if causes (a number of television programs or characters), effects (positive influences or

benefits), or both will be emphasized?

The introductory paragraph really is not that interesting, it does not have much to it. They first paragraph does not explain much at all.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s point or purpose for

the analysis? Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is

implied, state it in your own words below.

I can not find a clear thesis statement. I would have to say while i was growing up there wasn't one show in particular that had a major efffect on me.

3. Does the writer include a sufficient number of programs or characters (cause) and positive results (effect)? Why

or why not? What other causes or effects should the writer consider?

The writer does use a few programs and characters. I think there could be more.

4. Are the causes/effects reasonable or believable and not too far fetched? Does the author make any creative

connections or offer anything that surprises you—or does the analysis seem obvious? Explain.

The author really never clearly states causes and effects, therefor no connections were made.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions

between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.

I really don't think rearranging these paragraphs would help the story much.

6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting

specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s cause and/or effect analysis?

I really don't feel that that the paragraphs were very well detailed. I think there could be a lot more detail added.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

I think each paragraph does go along the right lines of the story.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

The first and and last paragraph are actually pretty off. First paragraph is very short and last is very long needs more balance.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)

I think each sentence is structured very good. I don see any repeats or other mess ups.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

I like some of the lessons the writer learned from tv. I think the paragraphs could mesh a little better and could have more detail.