Kelly K/definition review by Michael DuPre

English 101 Process-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

The introduction paragraph in nothing to special it just states her past and her present situations. The first paragraph really doesn't have a lot to it to make me want to continue.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

The thesis statement is definitely clear it is how she wants a younger sister.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

The thesis is implied and it is pretty simple she is going to explain the perfect little sister.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Is it clear to you how each of the

paragraphs relate to the process the writer is examining? Are any of the required steps or stages left out? Point out

any paragraph(s) that you have difficulty relating to the thesis statement or process.

All the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis and each paragraph is very clear.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order.

I really don't think any paragraph could be arranged differently it is definitely well written.

6. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions between paragraphs

that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?

What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting specific details?

The whole essay flows very smoothly and transitions are very well done and very detailed.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

This is a very well written essay each paragraph seems fine. It is very smooth and unified.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I really enjoyed the writers conclusion it was very clever and clear.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, switches in verb tense, etc.)

I don't think the sentences were very strong in any sense it was all just well written.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

I really enjoyed the conclusion, I thought it was a great ending. I think the paper could use a little more detail and also a little more insight.