English 101 Illustration-Based Peer Review Sheet

Instructions: Answer the questions below, being as specific as possible. Try to give the type of (helpful) feedback

that you would like to receive for your own draft. One word responses are not acceptable!

1. Is the introductory paragraph interesting? Why or why not? What does the writer give you to make you want to

continue reading?

I like the introductory paragraph I think it is very insightful. The writer states some things that definitely make me wanna continue reading it.

2. Is there a clear thesis statement? Can you find a sentence (or two) that reveals the writer’s purpose?

I don't feel as the thesis statement is exactly clear but I do see were they are going.

3. Type the sentence(s) below that you believe to be the writer’s thesis statement. If the thesis is implied, state it in

your own words below.

I think the the writer thesis statement is the last one that states relationships should be a give take, were both persons are contributing, and not just one person doing all the giving.

4. Do all of the paragraphs contribute to the development of the thesis? Point out any paragraph(s) that you have

difficulty relating to the thesis statement or illustration.

For the most part all paragraphs do go along with the thesis. Some parts kind of stray off but not to bad.

5. Would the essay improve if the paragraphs were arranged differently? Why/why not? Note any paragraph that

seems out of order. Are the paragraphs connected to one another smoothly and logically? Are there transitions

between paragraphs that help you understand how the writer’s ideas are connected? Explain.

I thought the essays paragraphs were arranged just fine. They all were very smooth for the most part.

6. Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed? What suggestions would you make about adding/subtracting

specific examples to help illustrate the writer’s point or concept?

Individual paragraphs were okay they could be more detailed, some parts just did not seem right.

7. Are all of the writer’s paragraphs unified and coherent? Indicate which paragraphs have any sentences that seem

irrelevant (“unity” concerns) or out of order (“coherence” concerns).

The writer's paragraphs were all unified and very coherent.

8. Go back and read the first and last paragraph. Has the writer fulfilled the obligations he or she established in the

introduction? Does the writer accomplish everything promised in the introduction, or does the essay go off track or

seem to switch focus? Why or why not? How can the conclusion be improved?

I think the first and last paragraph actually could be a little better they were not to far off but could end or even start differently.

9. Now look at sentences. Does the writer have sentences that strike you as effective because they include strong

verbs, specific details, memorable phrases, or striking images? Does the writer have any words they repeat too

often, use incorrectly, or misspells? Finally, does the writer have any tendencies for error they should be made

aware of? (Think comma splices, run-on sentences, or switches in verb tense, etc.)

All the sentences are very well written and complete. The writer defiantly has a good english background. I could fine no errors or repeats.

10. Write a summary comment that explains what you like best about the paper. Then, describe the two features of

the paper that most need improvement. What suggestion(s) for overcoming these problems do you have?

I think the best thing about this paper is that it explains a very good life lesson us young kids need to understand. It was very good paper. I do think the introductory could have been a lot better. I also thought the same about the conclusion they just did not mesh well to me.